The Internet of Things is the next big step forward for the internet and for the way we live our everyday lives; and it’s just around the corner. What is it? The IoT is where the internet is connected to physical devices, allowing them to be automated, send and receive data and in general—bringing the internet out into the real world. There will be a lot of internet-connected devices and apps coming out very soon, and these are the ones we can’t wait to try–

Fitness Gamification

One of the main problems with fitness in the modern world is that it just can’t compete with the entertainment provided by the internet. For the average person living in 2017, going on a run is an intensely boring and understimulatory activity versus spending that time immersed in the endless content stream of Facebook. But the IoT is helping fitness to catch up. There are now numerous fitness apps that turn you into competitive-having-fun mode by making fitness into a game. One of our favourite examples is Zombies, Run! which turns your neighbourhood jog into a frantic flight from an onslaught of zombies. There is a good audiotrack storyline to keep you entertained, and if you don’t run fast enough you die, so there’s that as well.

Smart Parking

This is just one part of the ‘smart city’ concept of the future that I can’t wait for. Driving around the block looking for a parking spot then finding one only to later see one right near the door will become a thing of the past. Sensors around the city will detect which spots are vacant and direct you to the one nearest your destination. This has the potential to save us a lot of time and fossil fuels.

Smart Ice Cubes

This will change everything. Smart ice-cubes (made of metal or plastic obviously) can now alert the waiter when you have finished your drink, they can vibrate and play music, and most importantly: they never water-down your drink. Strap yourself in, the future’s gonna be a wild ride.

IoT Sex Toys

This is a category unto itself because it’s becoming increasingly clear that: what the internet did for porn, the Internet of Things will do for sex toys. It goes without saying that most of the links here are not suitable for work.

The Vibrating Panties App

Vibrating panties was a revolution in itself, but now there’s an app for it! BLUEMOTION is a vibrating panties system that is controlled by your mobile phone. So if you want to get intimate with your partner over-the-phone, on Skype, in another country or throughout the day when you are both at work, this app enables you to do so over the internet. It’s only a matter of time until who-controls-who’s vibrating panties becomes a complicated relationship issue with the potential for cheating and a massive celebrity industry.

Pornhub-synced Teledildonics

Pornhub has released a new ‘interactive’ category of videos on its website that sync with certain IoT sex toys which have been termed ‘Teledildonics’. This is what the sex toy industry sees as a revolution in sex toys, because it allows these videos to actually in effect—stimulate the viewer directly. So when the pornstar receives a stimulation, so does the viewer. Along with virtual reality, this technology paves the way for an immersive porn experience that may cause the end of civilisation.

Pillow Talk

Is the less sexy but more cute/weird cousin to these other IoT sex toys that are entering the market. It is a pillow that simulate’s your lover’s heartbeat. It works with a wristband that picks up your heartbeat and send it to your lover. I decided to mention this to show you the breadth of experience IoT can offer relationships, even though this Pillow Talk product is clearly for more sensitive people than me, or geared towards the female side of a relationship.

Final Remarks

So those are the Internet of Things gadgets that we can’t wait for. The IoT will actually change the way we live, our healthcare system, our infrastructure, manufacturing and OH&S, but we decided to just focus on the fun stuff……..most of the article was about sex toys.

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