We Incessantly Put 15 Unlikely Things On The Political Spectrum For Those Who Love Labelling
Everything is political right? From the global economy down to the tiniest ant, we find it hard not to categorise everything into generalised categories. We love labelling! It colours the world (in two colours). Here are 15 things that I have incessantly politically labelled in our everyday life and yes this is a serious way that many people including myself think unfortunately.
You know, those guys who dwell in Reddit and video game servers who have an undying fashion preference for fedoras and neckbeards.
They are adamantly anti-religious. The God Delusion is their bible and r/atheism is their home. As annoying as these kinds of atheists can be, they do support free-thinking within the bounds of rationality. So far this labels them as centrist. They are also determinedly libertarian. However, this is often the kind of extreme libertarianism that lends itself to neoliberal, even Ayn Randian thought. So….that shifts the pendulum right. But, they absolutely love Japanese culture and cartoons, this is quite culturally accepting (left). However, one of their main aspects is that they are known for their conservative attitudes towards women including good-old-fashion politeness (“m’lady” is one that never gets old) and also traditional female gender roles.
So overall, we label neckbeards as:
If you grew up in the early 2000’s, you will remember the dark, mysterious teens who expressed their emotions. Emos are a tough one to categorise because it is a subculture based on a genre that emerged from both punk and metal. It is so dark, and yet so emotionally sensitive.
Emos are: emotional (left), angsty (left), dark (right), misanthropic (right) and overwhelmingly are young kids who aren’t yet mature or exposed to the real world (left).
Therefore, we label emos as:
Jeez that was a tough one. I just think these guys are too young to really have a cohesive stance on anything yet.
Britney is the archetypal female pop idol, so how does she fit onto the political spectrum?
She was raised baptist in the Southern state of Louisiana, USA. Like most Disney child stars, she began by singing about the importance of good-old-fashioned Christian values including abstinence before marriage. But then, as the story goes with Disney child stars, she revitalised her image in her adult years by producing more sexually-themed music, and then she went a bit off-the-rails with partying and drugs and had a celebrity breakdown.
She admitted to having sex with Justin Timberlake even though she wasn’t married to him. Also, she very publically converted to Kabbalah because she believed that spirituality is not limited to Christianity.
Britney was supportive whenever asked about her opinion on George Bush and the War in Iraq. It’s funny how reporters ask pop stars these kinds of questions, it shows that we all think in this way.
So overall, Britney Spears is:
A celebrity that makes money by looking glamorous is very very capitalist.
Where does a black gangstar rapper fit onto the political spectrum? The late Tupac Shakur—perhaps the most famous black gangstar rapper of all time is quite complicated to figure out in his politics.
Growing up, Tupac says he wasn’t religious, but lyrically, he often talks of God as a salvation. This contrasts to in his actual dialog he has talked conspiratorially about the bible being written as a device to control people.
Tupac’s mother and aunt were members of the Black Panthers—a far-left organisation with a doctrine of revenge against Caucasions for black oppression. This organisation—now disbanded—went a bit further than demanding equality. In his rapping, he has voiced support for wealth distribution, and this makes sense considering that in his youth he dated the daughter of the head of the local Communist Party chapter.
Compared to a lot of gangsta rap, Tupac delivered passivist messages, so we would categorise him as:
While the left-wing is the conventional political standing of minorities in America, this doesn’t hold for most gangsta rappers. Rapping about wealth, material possessions, sexual objectivications of women and violence is very common, indicating that not all of those who go from rags to riches maintain a sense of empathy towards their less fortunate peers.
This animal has a sense of connection and equality with its fellow deer. It has never eaten another animal in its whole life. It never fights, it always flees, it is a complete pacifist. It is quite unfocussed (probably open-minded) and self-conscious (so it doesn’t get eaten). This deer is:
It is not radical at all, it just so absolutely left-wing it surpasses even the most earthly hippie.
This may seem silly, and it is, but it makes you think about how these binary archetypes that we hold—of right- and left-wing hark back to our evolution as part of the ecosystem. Lions are extreme right-wing—focussed, calm, cold-hearted killers and hence why they are often used for corporate logos.
This is very hard because it doesn’t think. It just is. It is extremely matter-of-fact and also very hard.
A rock is:
Dirt (this is not intended to demean)
It is soft, it is lowly and equal to all the other dirt but doesn’t try to rise up
This is not intended to demean the left-wing, it’s just a reflection on the common view that the underprivileged see each other as equals and align with the left-wing in order to improve their lives together.
At least you can’t be blamed for thinking about everything in this stupid way now because we have just found another evolutionary reason for why we think in a binary way. Furthermore, we have found why thinking in this way is so rich—not intellectually, but emotionally and symbolically, because describing someone as right-wing relates them to everything from darkness, control, calmness, tradition and a rock.