We Incessantly Put 15 Unlikely Things On The Political Spectrum For Those Who Love Labelling

Everything is political right? From the global economy down to the tiniest ant, we find it hard not to categorise everything into generalised categories. We love labelling! It colours the world (in two colours). Here are 15 things that I have incessantly politically labelled in our everyday life and yes this is a serious way that many people including myself think unfortunately.

Neckbeards


You know, those guys who dwell in Reddit and video game servers who have an undying fashion preference for fedoras and neckbeards.

They are adamantly anti-religious. The God Delusion is their bible and r/atheism is their home. As annoying as these kinds of atheists can be, they do support free-thinking within the bounds of rationality. So far this labels them as centrist. They are also determinedly libertarian. However, this is often the kind of extreme libertarianism that lends itself to neoliberal, even Ayn Randian thought. So….that shifts the pendulum right. But, they absolutely love Japanese culture and cartoons, this is quite culturally accepting (left). However, one of their main aspects is that they are known for their conservative attitudes towards women including good-old-fashion politeness (“m’lady” is one that never gets old) and also traditional female gender roles.

So overall, we label neckbeards as:

Right-wing

Emos


If you grew up in the early 2000’s, you will remember the dark, mysterious teens who expressed their emotions. Emos are a tough one to categorise because it is a subculture based on a genre that emerged from both punk and metal. It is so dark, and yet so emotionally sensitive.

Emos are: emotional (left), angsty (left), dark (right), misanthropic (right) and overwhelmingly are young kids who aren’t yet mature or exposed to the real world (left).

Therefore, we label emos as:

Centrist

Jeez that was a tough one. I just think these guys are too young to really have a cohesive stance on anything yet.

Britney Spears


Britney is the archetypal female pop idol, so how does she fit onto the political spectrum?

She was raised baptist in the Southern state of Louisiana, USA. Like most Disney child stars, she began by singing about the importance of good-old-fashioned Christian values including abstinence before marriage. But then, as the story goes with Disney child stars, she revitalised her image in her adult years by producing more sexually-themed music, and then she went a bit off-the-rails with partying and drugs and had a celebrity breakdown.

She admitted to having sex with Justin Timberlake even though she wasn’t married to him. Also, she very publically converted to Kabbalah because she believed that spirituality is not limited to Christianity.

Britney was supportive whenever asked about her opinion on George Bush and the War in Iraq. It’s funny how reporters ask pop stars these kinds of questions, it shows that we all think in this way.

So overall, Britney Spears is:

Right-wing

A celebrity that makes money by looking glamorous is very very capitalist.

Tupac Shakur


Where does a black gangstar rapper fit onto the political spectrum? The late Tupac Shakur—perhaps the most famous black gangstar rapper of all time is quite complicated to figure out in his politics.

Growing up, Tupac says he wasn’t religious, but lyrically, he often talks of God as a salvation. This contrasts to in his actual dialog he has talked conspiratorially about the bible being written as a device to control people.

Tupac’s mother and aunt were members of the Black Panthers—a far-left organisation with a doctrine of revenge against Caucasions for black oppression. This organisation—now disbanded—went a bit further than demanding equality. In his rapping, he has voiced support for wealth distribution, and this makes sense considering that in his youth he dated the daughter of the head of the local Communist Party chapter.

Compared to a lot of gangsta rap, Tupac delivered passivist messages, so we would categorise him as:

Left-wing

While the left-wing is the conventional political standing of minorities in America, this doesn’t hold for most gangsta rappers. Rapping about wealth, material possessions, sexual objectivications of women and violence is very common, indicating that not all of those who go from rags to riches maintain a sense of empathy towards their less fortunate peers.

A Deer

This animal has a sense of connection and equality with its fellow deer. It has never eaten another animal in its whole life. It never fights, it always flees, it is a complete pacifist. It is quite unfocussed (probably open-minded) and self-conscious (so it doesn’t get eaten). This deer is:

Extreme Left-Wing

It is not radical at all, it just so absolutely left-wing it surpasses even the most earthly hippie.

This may seem silly, and it is, but it makes you think about how these binary archetypes that we hold—of right- and left-wing hark back to our evolution as part of the ecosystem. Lions are extreme right-wing—focussed, calm, cold-hearted killers and hence why they are often used for corporate logos.

A Rock


This is very hard because it doesn’t think. It just is. It is extremely matter-of-fact and also very hard.

A rock is:

Right-wing

Dirt (this is not intended to demean)


It is soft, it is lowly and equal to all the other dirt but doesn’t try to rise up

Dirt is:

Left-wing

This is not intended to demean the left-wing, it’s just a reflection on the common view that the underprivileged see each other as equals and align with the left-wing in order to improve their lives together.

Final Remarks

At least you can’t be blamed for thinking about everything in this stupid way now because we have just found another evolutionary reason for why we think in a binary way. Furthermore, we have found why thinking in this way is so rich—not intellectually, but emotionally and symbolically, because describing someone as right-wing relates them to everything from darkness, control, calmness, tradition and a rock.

Worst Computer Viruses Of The Decade

The one dot-com sector that never crashed, that has seen double-digit growth every year for the last decade is cyber-crime. To every innovation in the last decade: social media, smartphones, online banking, there is an exploit. There is a loophole that allows hackers to steal people’s money, send spam emails or cause general destruction.

Viruses Of The Previous Decades

This decade right now is the virus renaissance. viruses have come of age as technologically, psychologically manipulative agents of deception. In the two decades prior (2000s and 90s), viruses were still in their childlike infancy. Many were quite silly.

For instance, the PolyPoster Virus of the mid-90s posted random word documents on your computer to random pages of Usenet—a popular forum. So the already crippling levels of spam on this platform on pages like alt.rec.art and alt.atheism got loaded with even more random junk like letters of approval, children’s assignments and cooking recipes.

The HPS VIRUS of 1998 is named after the Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS)—a disease transmitted from rats that causes respiratory problems in humans. What’s even more funny (not funny) is that it mirror-imaged your screen horizontally.

Worst Computer viruses Of The Last 10 Years

1. Stuxnet Worm, 2010

Stuxnet was created in a joint effort by the US and Israeli governments. It was invented as a cyberwarfare device to frustrate the development of Iranian nuclear facilities. The virus was groundbreaking because it could have real, physical effects and even kill people. It operates on the code that controls mechanical devices such as turbines and pneumatics. Here is a demonstration of Stuxnet taking over machinery:

Can you imagine a computer virus overloading the generators on a nuclear research facility and killing people? Stuxnet is the first computer virus that can kill people. It is also remarkable for having four ‘zero-day attacks’ (loopholes in systems that are open to being exploited and hacked). A single zero-day exploit of this kind is worth hundreds of millions of dollars on the black market and that is one of the things that indicated to virus analysts that this was not just an ordinary hacking operation—that this was created by governments for some political purpose.

2. MyDoom’s Mass Infection. 2004

MyDoom was the most expensive online virus of the decade, with damages estimated at $38 billion. This worm had the generic function of hijacking computers and using them to send spam and MyDoom virus-containing emails, but the scale and effectiveness was enormous. The number of spam emails sent around the world slowed global internet access by 10%. Some servers were receiving thousands of spam emails per minute. It is still the fastest spreading email ever.

3. Love Letter, 2000

If you received an email with a ‘LOVELETTER’ attached from a mysterious person, would you think twice about opening the attachment? Or would you be knocked off your heels, flattered and eagerly open it instantly. Many people would do the second thing, as was proven in 2000 when this virus manipulated not just CPUs, but people’s own minds to spread through the world.

The second trick that made this so successful was that the attached file appeared to be a .txt file. It had a .txt.vba extension, making it an executable Visual Basic script, but this file extension was hidden on Windows by default.

The Love Letter originated in the Philippines. It was a generally malicious virus, causing billions in damages by scrambling random files on the victim computers.

4. Storm Worm, 2006

The Storm Worm is so called because one of the email messages that it was contained in was titled: “230 dead as storm batters Europe.” The worm is a trojan horse: it infects and hides in programs on the victim’s PC. It then opens the victim’s computer to be remote controlled by the attacker, which is very scary. Mostly, the attackers use it send spam emails from the victim’s computers.

5. Oompa-A/Leap-A, 2006

The Oompa-A virus is notable in exploiting Mac computers. Not many viruses target Macs for these two reasons:

  • ‘Security through obscurity’: Apple produces their own software and hardware and keeps it under wraps. An effect is there is less exploits that can be seen by hackers.
  • There are more Windows computers: so most hackers want to target the majority of computers.

The Oompa-A virus spread through the iChat messaging program, sending messages to the contacts of the infected Mac computers. The message is a corrupted .jpeg file that if clicked, executes and infects the new host computer

One of the most virulent things about Virus is that it preyed on unsuspecting and to a large part unprotected computers. Windows users have strong barriers against infection, but Mac users did not expect to ever need such strong virus protection.

The Worst Clickbait Articles We Have Ever Seen


The internet is no New York Times. Anyone can write whatever they want and if it appeals to even the basest human desires then it may show up on your screen. There’s some real low quality content doing the rounds out there, it’s hard to believe that anyone would read this stuff with a straight face. Here are the worst of the worst….

[Why does the child in hands of the beggar always sleeping? – Wise Thinks]https://www.wisethinks.com/2015/01/why-does-child-in-hands-of-beggar.html

Ok…. so basically, this English-second language person asked the question of why the baby in the arms of a beggar is always sleeping then did an investigation asking people to find out. It turns out that the baby is given heroin or alcohol to make it look cute and not screaming and turning away donors. The crime syndicate oversees beggars and gives the mother “A bottle of vodka in the evening and a döner kebab”

The wording of this article makes it seem a bit illegitimate, but I guess I shouldn’t discriminate against ESL speakers. Phrases like “it pumped up with vodka or drugs” and “I stood with a full sense of – “I’m trying to fight windmills”” are very amusing though. Also, whenever an article has the title printed twice it always makes me sceptical.

Nevertheless, I am 50% convinced that this does happen in some cases in real life, and 25% convinced that this is a decent article.

If you read the other articles on this site by this writer you can find other groundbreaking stories like “How To Make Your Rotten Banana Fresh Again!!!” and “You Are Not Fat, You Only Have Accumulated Residues Inside You! Clean Them NOW!”

Subway Discovered To Be Using Cockroaches In Food, FDA To Close U.S. Subway Restaurants – Huzlers

Really!? Oh my, I wonder how they got away with it for so long. I also wonder how one of the only chain restaurants where you can see them making it and which doesn’t even cook the ingredients themselves, they use plain ham and chicken rather than patties uses cockroaches as an ingredient.

As if this isn’t a joke?

Well, it may be but you never know with Huzler’s, that’s the thing. Their About Us line is:

<Huzlers.com> is a combination of real shocking news and satire news to keep its visitors in a state of disbelief.

I actually love this site; so much quality (low quality) content including:

Some of this stuff is just straight fake news! It is just there to boost siteviews. (Or is it???) Some of it just goes so far I can’t even post it in this article. I love Huzlers.

This

There’s gotta be more than 12… from clickbait

This thing

You’re right I probably won’t believe from clickbait

When clickbait started using Photoshop, that’s when things really got out of hand.

22 Celebrities That Look Nothing Alike

I can’t belieeeve how different some of these celebrities look. This is mind-blowing!

These Are the 9 Lamest Birds in the World | GQ

This guy knows what he is talking about and makes some very solid arguments about how lame these birds are. He seriously put a lot of effort into writing this article and I hope it paid off though I’m not sure it did.

Why aren’t there any female Minions? – CSMonitor.com

Christian Science Monitor covers the big issues, proving that newspapers can thrive in the online medium without a loss of quality.

Consumer Outrage

The article is actually about hidden messages in corporate logos. The Chick Fil-A one literally just says the C is a chicken. from clickbait

I Was Never Able To Accept My Son’s Autism Until I Monetized It Through Blogging | ClickHole

A heartwarming story from the news source that consistently makes the best clickbait on the web—Clickhole. It is a satire of Buzzfeed and all that paid-click cr▒p that makes you go what the f▒▒▒.

There are so many Clickhole classics that just take advantage of your most moronic sense of entertainment. This is another great one:

Inclusivity FTW! A Speech Bubble Is Finally Being Added To The Handicapped Sign That Says ‘I Could Be Any Race’ | ClickHole

What an enlightened era we live in.

The Funniest Philosophers (and the really unfunny ones)


We know that some philosophers can be a bit funny. But they can be very different kinds of funny. Some use humour in their writing to make it less dry and therefore actually increase clarity. Others are funny in a more eccentric way.

Slavoj Žižek, 1949–Present

Some would consider Slavoj Žižek to be a pop-philosopher. He has released and appeared in several films, has had three very successful and attractive wives including a fashion model and has a heavy Yugoslavian accent. He has a rapid, academic or overly-academic style of speaking because English is clearly the language of his academic career more than upbringing. He also has frantic mannerisms and tics that enliven everything that he says. All this, along with the heavy Marxist slant of his philosophy has made him into somewhat of a meme.

This is an excerpt from his film The Pervert’s Guide to Ideology:

The top comment on the YouTube is: “Now I want to see his commercial for the other coke”.

Those are the kinds of jokes that this guy gets. The frequent nose-touching and frantic speech make him seem like he is always on cocaine, but his official statement is that he has nervous tics when orating. It may be some kind of condition like Tourettes Syndrome or chronic tic disorder. It would be very ironic if it was cocaine because that is probably the single most capitalist commodity in the world.

Here are some quite good Žižek memes:


It makes sense that Žižek is a meme, being the most famous philosopher alive in the present day. Does it mean that his work is not serious? No, but in all honesty, he has never been groundbreaking. He tends to rehash the same ideas over and over, building in only very small increments with each work, and never straying too far from his Marxist and existential predecessors. He is funny though.

Harry Frankfurt, 1929–Present

Frankfurt’s On Bullshit is an essay that finds itself into philosophy of logic courses at university. He defines bullshit as speech that intends to persuade rather than to tell the truth. It is different from lying, which is intentionally trying to hide the truth; it is a disregard for the truth.

Frankfurt is a serious philosopher who doesn’t take himself too seriously, and this is part of the reason for the widespread success of this essay, appearing on The New York Times Best Seller list for 27 weeks.

Voltaire, 1694–1778

Voltaire is a French Enlightenment writer and philosopher who was famous for his wit. His novela Candide, ou l’Optimisme is a satire that follows the life of a young man who was raised with a sheltered upbringing and optimist views, but then who is suddenly thrust into the real world and undergoes painful realisations

The novel criticises Leibnizian optimism—that this is the optimal of all possible worlds, and that all its perfections are actually means to the end of its perfections. The innumerable evils of Candide are a massive affront to this way of thinking.

Fretrich Nietzsche, 1844–1900

Nietzsche was both kinds of funny. He once hugged a horse being whipped by a cabman, so ran up and embraced it, began weeping and collapsed on the street. It was not long after this that he descended fully into madness.

His actual philosophy was known for its German-language wordplay and humour. Here are some translations that hopefully do him justice:

“In Heaven all the interesting people are missing.”

“Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.”

“We have art in order not to die of the truth.”

(Source)

Nietzsche’s poetic style of his philosophic works is legendary. There is nothing dry about his manner of writing in most of his works, and this is why he continues to captivate ordinary people to this day.

Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788–1860

Schopenhauer is a pessimist with such extremity and depth that he is actually very funny. He is best known for the phrase: “It’s bad today, and it will daily become worse – until the worst of all happens.”

He published “The Art Of Always Being Right” which explained in somewhat tongue-in-cheek terms how to win an argument by any means necessary, even those that circumvent the truth or flout ethics. Then he went on to publish some even more lovely books like “On the Suffering of the World” which decides that “We shall then see that whoever attaches a lot of value to the opinions of others pays them too much honour.” Argument itself is futile because people are too narrow-minded, stupid and ignorant.

Here’s another nice thought from Schopenhauer to end this segment:

“If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it.” (Source)

#Motivational

The Not Funny List

The following philosophers are very serious and not funny. This is not to say they aren’t serious philosophers they are just really not funny:

  • Martin Heidegger
  • Immanuel Kant
  • Ayn Rand (except for filling a train with caricatured straw-men and driving it into a mountain that explodes in Atlas Shrugged)

I actually really enjoy these philosophers (except one of them), but…. not funny.

5 Alternative History Stories That Could Have Happened


1. The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick, 1962

Written by 60’s science-fiction eccentric Philip K Dick and now the basis of a TV series produced by Amazon, this novel is set in an America where the Axis won the war.

The world is divided into two countries: Germany and Japan who compete as superpowers. America is divided into the Japanese-owned Western side and the German-owned Eastern side and also a Neutral Zone in the center. In the German empire: Black people are enslaved once again, the Nazis have developed the hydrogen bomb, have colonised the Moon, Venus and Mars and have drained the Mediterranean sea for farmland. In the Japanese empire: ethnic discrimination is not as severe. Officially, their racial policies are in line with Germany’s, but actually the non-Japanese ethnicities just have lower standards of living and fewer opportunities. In the Neutral Zone: neither superpower has control. The Neutral Zone has its own government which seems non-discriminatory. This zone is very dependent for the two countries for its economy, through trade. The Neutral Zone is clearly a political solution between the two superpowers. Central America is where uranium is mined, so the ownership of this land was obviously a point that was highly tense in this nuclear age.

Compared to Dick’s other novels, this one is uncharacteristically realistic. It is set int he present-day, it is well-researched and plausible as opposed to his other great novels which usually feature aliens, altered states and telepathy all in the one book.

The Man in the High Castle is highly recommended for any Dick fan who would like to see another side to Dick’s writing, and for anyone interested in finding an answer to the burning unspoken question of the 2nd World War: what happens if the Axis win?

2. Bring the Jubilee by Ward Moore, 1953

The next big alternative history question: what if the Confederate States of America had won the war? The year is 1864 in an impoverished America. The slaves have been freed but the Confederacy has had an aggressive imperialistic foreign policy that has seen it invade and conquer the whole of Latin America and also Pacific Islands including Hawaii. WWI was won by Germany, whihch gained control of large areas of Europe including the Baltic and the Balkans and now stands as the competing superpower to the Confederacy.

In the confederacy: females do not have suffrage, ethnic minorities are disadvantaged and technology developed along a different line. Steam powered vehicles are the primary mode of transport, and horse-riding is still common. The internal combustion engine, incandescent light bulbs and aircraft were not invented. Technology is behind, and economic growth is perpetually stagnant. There is a declining population, general lawlessness and most people work for almost nothing in exchange for basic living necessities.

3. The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson, 2002

What if the Black Death plague of 1346–1353 killed 99% of Europe’s population instead of 1/3rd? The many hundreds of years of alternative history covered by this book sees Europe being repopulated with Muslims and the American Indians resisting Muslim and Chinese invaders. There is also a 67 year war fought between the two vast civilisations that emerge: the Chinese and the Muslims.

4. The Difference Engine by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling, 1990

The point of divergence is 1824: Charles Babbage completes his Difference Engine, so the computer is invented a century ahead of time. He then proceeds to develop the more advanced Analytical Engine. He rises to political power as class tension rises. He is assassinated in just a matter of years by Ludditian revolutionaries who want to delay the progress of technological change. Babbage computers are becoming mass-produced and a feature in most homes and businesses. Basically, the novel explores the possibility of an information revolution in the 19th century, including the emergence of programmers (of punched cards) and even hackers (‘clackers’). Technology advances faster than in our timeline, especially in engineering, accounting, government intelligence and national surveillance. Steam-powered technology reaches greater heights, which makes the British Empire even more powerful. The United States is fragmented by Britain to prevent it from becoming a competing superpower.

Compared to William Gibson’s other novels such as Neuromancer which are set in the future, this novel is very historically based which is interesting. While Neuromancer and several of Gibson’s other works used punk culture to create the genre of cyberpunk, this novel was a pioneer of the genre ‘steampunk’. It is rich in imagery of advanced 19th century-style machinery that is characteristically brass, clunking and steam-powered, and this is an aesthetic that would inspire many to come including Howl’s Moving Caslte (2004).

5. The Iron Dream By Norman Spinrad, 1972

The Iron Dream reads like a pulp, post-apocalyptic sci-fi, but actually it is a metafictional, alternative history masterpiece. The book itself is written by a fictional Adolf Hitler who emigrated to the US in 1919 after WWI and found work in publishing using his artistic skills. It’s a humorous comment on how closely the ideas of sci-fi and fantasy literature can be aligned with the extreme right-wing, racist Nazi ideology.

Without Hitler in Germany, the Nazi Party disbands in 1923 and the Communist Party succeeds in bringing about a communist revolution in 1930. There is no second World War and the Soviet Union takes over the UK in 1948 and is increasing in influence in Latin America. The US and Japan align to prevent the Soviet Union’s political domination over the globe. The Soviet Union conducts a genocide of the Jews which is far more total, because there is no political power of the other nations to prevent it.

As for Hitler’s novel: in the year 1142 A.F. (after the nuclear war), radiation has mutated the human gene pool, making most of humanity have blue skin, bird beaks, etc, including some seemingly un-mutated ‘Dominators’ who possess mind-control and desire to rule the world. The parallels to Hitler’s beliefs regarding the Jewish race are very clear. The heros of the novel are known for their lack of mutations, and set about to euthanise the mutants of the world, and to quash the threat of the Dominators. The novel does play out like a sci-fi reenactment of WWII at times, but even so it is very fascinating and entertaining.

How ‘The Betoota Advocate’ Became Australia’s ‘The Onion’


Over 336 thousand people so far are following a new Australian comedy newspaper on Facebook, now Australia’s most popular satirical newspaper even surpassing The Onion. A newspaper that is so hilariously true and so downright Australian that it is going viral. The Betoota Advocate is proud of its slogan ‘Australia’s oldest newspaper’, despite being created in 2014 and only rising to such popularity in a span of 3 years. Let’s have a look at what makes this newspaper hit home with so many Australians.

‘The Best Headlines’

This is a quote from my friend who introduced it to me, and is pretty much the consensus amongst the Australian population. What other newspaper has headlines as good as these:




They just nail it with the headline every single time. Content writers can learn a lot from this. The headline provides the punchy statement of the entire piece. Then, they have an extract from the article in the Facebook comment that adds to the joke. Then also, the first sentences of the article always start off with some comedy gold that runs on the same joke, so this is also visible in the Facebook preview.

Everyday Australian Stories

This is really what the Betoota is about. It publishes stories on aspects of Australian life that are just so Australian and so everyday that they make you go ‘haha ha oh yeah that’s right’. And they just have such a talent on picking up on these things that are so trivial, minor, everyday, common (yet ridiculous) that most people don’t even comment on them. E.g.



A Great Backstory

The Betoota Advocate is the official newspaper of the Queensland town of Betoota. As Australia’s oldest newspaper, it’s been in operation since the 1800’s, since Betoota was not a ghost town in fact. It’s funny because this is now the official paper for a town whose last resident died in 2004. They maintain that the paper has been ‘in operation’ all this time nevertheless and it was only when it made the ‘transition into digital news’ that it gained popularity around Australia. Well, whose to say that’s not true when Betoota has a population of 0?

The newspaper carries on about Betoota as if it is a bustling small town. So essentially, for this newspaper Betoota has become this fictional small town with all the small townish aspects cranked up to comedic extremes.

You can read about all this on their About Us page and Our History page.

The Real Story

The Betoota Advocate was founded in 2014 by former journalists Archer Hamilton and Charles Single, as well as publisher Piers Grove. After becoming disillusioned with the world of reporting for various reasons, the three decided to start a satirical newspaper. It is based on the idea of Hamilton’s to create a conservative newspaper in his small country hometown of Mitchell, Queensland, but because of the group’s interest in the oddities of Australian country life, they decided to make it a satirical newspaper.

The newspaper makes money through ad revenue and sponsored brand placements within articles. These brands pay to be mentioned, but not associated with the controversial newspaper. However, it has now also started producing branded content in which brands are paying to be associated with the Betoota Advocate brand. For instance, it produced this advertisement for GROW Super Australia:

And The Betoota is going even further still, by producing its own branded products. The newspaper released a book of its best articles plus additional content entitled The Betoota Advocate Round Up in 2016. Then, in January 2017 they released their own brand of beer called ‘Betoota Bitter’. There’s a fantastic interview of the editor-in-large Errol Parker about the beer here. He says:

“It’s an honest drop that turns its back on that Sydney-centric, autofellating craft beer world. It has its own tasting notes, but we’d recommend pairing it with a fine afternoon sitting in a TAB alongside any form of red meat. It’s a beer you can drink all day. It’s a beer you can drink all night. It’s not pretending to be anything other than a bitter beer from Betoota.”

When asked if “Betoota residents will be pleased to finally have a beer of their own?”:

“The residents are impartial, in my opinion. Beer is merely a vehicle for alcohol for most of them.”

They have also released their own line of clothing, called Betoota Outfitters.

The Vast Potential and Terrifying Risks of Meme Marketing


The last time you went on social media, you may have been surprised to see something like this:

Paste tooth are surpisez?? from surrealmemes

As you probably know, that is a meme. And a rather perplexing/cutting-edge one at that.

Millennials are notoriously difficult to market to. They are saturated with content, they have low attention) and retention rates) for information. Furthermore, the unlimited buffet of content that they have access to (the internet) has made them extremely picky. They are used to the cream-of-the-cream thanks to web algorithms that preference popular content.

None of this bodes well for marketers wanting to use memes. There is a vast potential to access this demographic through memes, and even to go viral and get unprecedented amounts of free publicity. But….it is very difficult and risky.

Ways To Use Memes

There are a two ways that some brands are currently using memes successfully. These are:

  • Spicing up content: If you are a brand that publishes inbound marketing content for SEO, then you should consider integrating memes because it provides two main benefits. Firstly, it can increase the popularity of the article, especially among the younger demographic. Secondly, it can be good for SEO, because it is an easy way to create your own images. These images appear on Google Images linked to your article, providing you with another stream of visitors.
  • Social media: This is the main one. For memes that are good enough that you expect people to like and share them, you should consider posting them on your main social media account. This is the way of using memes that we will focus on in this article because it is the most common, also the highest risk and reward.

Basically, doing effective meme marketing well requires averting all the pitfalls. Don’t even think about going viral, that won’t happen

Memes are the social playground of Millenials. As a marketing company, you don’t belong on this space, you are a guest, and so, it is very easy to not fit in or commit some tragic faux pas.

God, this is really meta… and I like it. from FellowKids

You don’t wanna be that guy.

(And, as a sidenote, we aren’t even going to talk about going viral because chances are that is not going to happen. Out of all the uncountable numbers of content that get posted each day on the internet, only a select few go viral, and this is due to originality, something that they tap into in the audience somehow, and gratuitous amounts of luck. So don’t worry about not going viral.)

Here are the main risks and pitfalls and how to avoid them:

Recognise Your Disadvantages

As a company, you are disadvantaged in the meme-world in the following ways:

  • You aren’t a Millenial or even a person
  • You probably can’t use crude humour. You have a brand image to uphold
  • You are clearly trying to gain people’s time and attention so you can make money. So it better be good or people will get annoyed

Follow The Rules

Some social media pages, groups, etc. have rules that are quite restrictive on marketing. For instance, on Reddit, many if not most subreddits disallow marketing and spam and you will be spam filtered/banned/chastised. Facebook is not restricted in any way, unless you are marked as ‘spam’ by too many people, then you could face having your page closed down. Twitter is similar. The main rule in every social media website basically is: don’t annoy people. Post content that will draw them, not push them away (it is a form of inbound marketing after all).

Understand Your Audience

Millenials are not one heterogenous blob. In fact, more so than any other generation, they are very different across the board. Different social media groups have vastly different communities of people that visit them, so it is important to understand the site/group/page you are posting to more than anything.

The best way to do this is to go to the page and look at the memes. Just browse some dank memes, it is now your job. Or, do a deep analysis of the community of your page, if you are posting on your own (which in 99% of cases you should be). Click on the profiles of individual followers and see what they post on their wall, their ‘likes’ and the memes on the pages they like (this is not just specific to Facebook). Then you should get somewhat of an understanding of the type of memes to make on your page.

Here are some examples of brands that really nailed it:

Gucci understands the language, sense of humour and everyday concerns of its overwhelmingly young female audience on Instagram.

A post shared by Gucci (\@gucci) on

I know 20-something girls that would say that exact thing. They would seriously relate to this meme.

Or check out one of Nickelodeon’s memes that understands the humour of its child/pre-teen audience:

It’s simple, it’s something that kids experience in their lives, and it relates to one of the shows they enjoy. I can’t think of a better formula for a child-appropriate meme.

Be Aware That You Are A Brand

There is an element of humour that as a brand you can tap into. That’s the strange humour in a brand having personality, acting like a person or showing its lighter side. It’s what makes NSW Police memes so funny. These are the kinds of memes they post:

It’s funny because with all the conservatism and seriousness of this organisation, they can still have a laugh about it. This is what you should aim for. Not this:

God is really fucking dead. from FellowKids

This is just….some app brand trying too hard to appeal to a target demographic. They are like hey kids, do you like spinners? We like spinners too. But really, it is a very shallow way to try to bond with an audience. It is just the surface symbolism, rather than voice or even humour.

Keep Up

Make sure to keep up with the fast-paced meme world if you want to make good memes. Subscribe to meme pages on Facebook, Reddit and Twitter. Always be on the lookout for things you havn’t seen before. You can even do some research, I would look up ‘surreal memes’, ‘deep fried memes’ and ‘dank memes’, because these are on the forefront of memes right now. Most of all, have fun, because marketing memes are all about showing your brand’s lighter side.

In Pictures: The History Of The Website

We have had the World Wide Web since the 1990s, and it sure has come a long way. Wait a sec, that’s almost 30 years! Yes, the WWW is soon to turn 30. And, just to make things clear, that’s not even the history of the internet which predates the WWW. The WWW is the system of interlinking hypertext documents with URI’s, versus the internet which is the interlinking of electronic computers that started in the US in the 1950s (!).

In this article, we’re talking about the WWW. We’re going to give you a visual tour from the earliest, most primitive webpages to the most advanced webpages we have today.

The First Webpage

The world’s first recorded webpage was created in 1991 and looked like this:

(Click to link to the actual page)

As you can see, there was no CSS styling or javascript functionality. There were no images even, just hyperlinks and simple hierarchical formatting. This page seems to serve as some kind of starting-point for the web, as a guide for those embarking on a hypertext journey.

If you look at the HTML source code, there are some interesting things to note (if you have a basic knowledge of HTML). Instead of the usual html>head,body structure of a webpage, this one uses just header,body. This is HTML 1.0, which only included 20 elements, of which 13 are still in use today. But thankfully, most web browsers are still able to interpret these old HTML versions. Plus you just have weird formatting of this HTML, where none of it is indented, and all the link attributes are on a new line in full caps. It looks cool though. For a history of HTML, see here

It should be noted that during this time, webpages were not viewed like they are today through graphical web browsers. This first webpage would have been viewed with a ‘line mode browser’ that displayed it within a computer console. You can play around with a simulation of a line mode browser online here.

HTML 2.0

The web explodes into a vast network of interlinking webpages in 1994, with HTML 2.0 being released and adopted as the official standard. Just to clarify, HTML means Hypertext Markup Language. It is the simple code that makes up the structure and content of webpages. Meanwhile, the first graphical web browsers were released and became part of the website explosion, the most popular of these was called Mosaic and later renamed Netscape.

HTML 2.0 developed the ability to make tables which enabled website layouts to be formatted in far more sophisticated ways. The sidebar and menu bar were born. ‘Frames’ were also introduced which allowed websites to embed other webpages within the same page, so you can have boxes and columns within a webpage with their own scrollbars. With HTML 2.0 you could embed music within a site and even make it play automatically. You can style webpages with any font, colours and background images that you want. You can use moving images (gifs) and even image cursors. You can even make text blink or scroll across the page.

It is clear that there were some serious missteps during this period of growth and development. A lot of the new ‘features’ that I just listed turned out to be very easy to misuse and create awful websites. Some of the flashy websites of the 90s are amazingly still online and you can still visit them to experience the wave of unbriddled excitement.

(All of these 90s websites can be clicked on to go to the actual website)

The 1996 Space Jam website

We like the repeating background image and also the pretty cutting-edge image links arranged around the page that scream the excitement of the hypermedia revolution. The code is pretty wack as well, there are like five line-breaks between everything, but anyway.

1997—Ron Oslund’s Home Page

Boy oh boy, where do we start with this one….

This has to be one of the worst websites ever created. It has a tiling, non-continuous background, it it under construction (of course), it has a visitor counter, it has a ‘Cool Links and Stuff’ page and what it’s attributed to Diana, Princess of Wales (What!?).

This is the most 90s thing that we have ever seen.

The 2004 Arngen website

Information overload what the hell close the page! This webpage is a blast, there’s just so much going on here. You can see that it’s trying to be like a newspaper, but it doesn’t grasp the difference of the web: concentration span is the limitation, not page space. You should see the HTML, the whole thing is an enormous complex table.

This

(An image won’t do this one justice, you have to click the link)

https://www.dokimos.org/ajff/

Ok, that’s enough of those. But if you want even more 90s nostalgia, look into Geocities. Yahoo! Geocities was a web hosting service created in 1994. So basically, people coded their own webpages and Yahoo! hosted them up on the web. The webpages were horrible. If even huge companies like Warner Bros. hadn’t developed web design sense back then, then ordinary people were even worse. Geocities is no longer hosted by Yahoo!, but several archives exist including this that you can explore.

Server-Side Scripting

In 1994, web browsers started being able to evaluate javascript code, and this allowed web-pages to include javascript to do a lot of advanced things. HTML is not a programming language, it can only determine the layout of the page, whereas javascript is a full programming language, enabling the web designer to make a webpage into practically anything. This unlocked an entire new field of potential for the website that was initially used to make widgets. For instance, those 90’s visitor counters (‘You are the 17721th visitor on this site’) were javascript widgets. Nowerdays, javascript is used to make entire web apps.

The Turn Of The Millenium: Time To Re-Evaluate The Webpage

From around 2000 onwards, the initial excitement of the WWW gave way to some concerns over the quality of many websites on the web. People were questioning whether the gif backgrounds and comical sound effects of geocities were still aligned with the utopianism of the WWW’s founding. Basically, there was a reaction against annoying website features. Here is a breakdown of some of the worst website features that fell by the wayside:

(See this website for a demonstration of all the worst website features in one)

  • Frames: These pages within pages confuse search engines and web users alike
  • Scrolling text: distracting and there is never a reason to use this
  • Gifs (animated images): distracting
  • Image backgrounds, especially tiled and animated: make it hard to read text, ugly and distracting
  • Image cursors: when the cursor is an image, this just makes it harder to click

All of these are annoying but most of them you can still use today if you want to. But most people don’t.

From the 2000s onwards, there was also a lot of work done to clean up and standardise the HTML that people were writing their webpages with. Basically, a standard called XHTML was produced, so websites that were coded in XHTML were and still to some extent are held to be high-standard websites, however looser definitions of HTML code are still recognised by browsers.

CSS

A big leap around the turn of the millenium was the advent of Cascading Style Sheets (CSS). This is a language that styles webpages. Not only did this increase the capacities of web styling, but the main advantage is: the seperation of form and content. In other words, no longer were styles coded within the layout of the actual page. Now, you just write a stylesheet and apply it to the page. The advantage being that if you want to change all the headings from blue to green, you can just change one thing in the CSS rather than change every heading in the HTML.

Flash

Do you remember Adobe Flash Content? Those animations that take a long time to load and never worked because you always had to install the latest version of Flash on your computer or update your browser plugin? Those were the days in the first decade of the new millenium when entire websites could be created using Flash. So basically, the whole website was a Flash animation, with interactive buttons and hyperlinks to other pages. It lead the way in visual effects, user experience and online games in websites, even though it was rather slow.

An online Flash game:

HTML5 and CSS3

Now we are up to the present day—where we have websites that have the wide range of effects of Flash, without the clunkiness and support issues. HTML5 was published in 2015 to bring many of these features right into HTML, and CSS3 went part of the way when it was introduced in 2011. Many of the cleanest, most responsive websites are now created using these two new standards. This includes websites that display well on mobile phones, because these two developments have features that allow you to code a mobile version into your site.

Here is a website that has won an Awwward for its use of HTML5:

It also showcases the design trends that have gone hand-in-hand with the modernisation of the web, including minimalism and full-width (no margins) design.

Here is a website that has won an Awwward for its use of CSS3:

(Click the menu icon to see this website’s elegant use of CSS3)

Web Apps

Web apps are one of the ways that we can clearly see a lot of development in the future of the webpage. We already have sophisticated web apps like Gmail and complex online games like League of Legends. These are based on a lot of client-side scripting (the website runs the code, not your PC) in various heavy programming languages like C++. This technology is a bit beyond this article, but needless to say it is developing at a rapid rate, along with the increases in internet speeds and processing power around the world. We are sure to see the internet behaving more and more like the desktop PC as we move into the next decade of the WWW.

The Most Emotionally Complicated Things That People Do


People can be complicated. There’s no better way to put it. We have emotions that twist our thoughts in strange ways, that weave and turn over each other into a tight ball of personality flaws. That’s a good way to describe the kinds of people you will be reading about in this article.

Humblebrag

This is a new word that was needed a long time ago (added to Urban Dictionary in 2011). It’s when people say things like this:

Like, ahhhh! How obvious is this that you are being like ‘Oh, I am so not looking my best today’ only so you can say ‘I always look hot, even when I don’t try, it’s natural to me’. Goddamit.

Or this one:

Yes, notify the press: girl gets into a good university. I wonder how she got in, well it couldn’t be that she was naturally talented.

Or: any time that someone says that they are ‘too thin’ or ‘have trouble gaining weight’ or any of that rubbish. I feel really sorry for plus sized girls who have to listen to skinny people say that.

This stuff can drive you nuts. Like how can you expect other people to be so stupid—as to not even pick up on this as a very very very thinly veiled brag? Anyway,

Passive-Aggression

This is another term that has gained surging popularity in recent years—but only because it was needed for so long.

Passive-aggressive behaviour is when hostility is expressed in an indirect or subtle way. It’s not like flying into a rage at all, it’s….a bit more complicated than that.

Take this relationship move:

My girlfriend only made her half of the bed. from passiveaggressive

Someone’s girlfriend was not happy about something, so she decided to send a message.

These forms of aggression are not openly hostile, they are symbolic. The reasoning behind them is quite complicated and embroiled in relationships and emotion. It’s less acceptable to be aggressive-aggressive, it evokes more retaliation, and it sends the same message. So, for a lot of minor-moderate relationship quibbles, this kind of silliness is really the best way.

I love this one as well:

Passive aggressive software error… from passiveaggressive

Software error or elegant solution? That’s up for you to decide. I just love it when passive-aggression is so subtle it makes you question whether it even is a message….

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude is when you delight in the misery of others. It comes from a dark part of your mind that most people bury deep down. If you really try to go deep into thinking about why you feel it; it is when your empathy is suppressed—often by envy or anger, and then the assuaging of that negative feeling causes a good feeling (at the expense of the object of your discomfort). It’s one of those complicated effects of the mind that blurs the line between good and bad.

If when you were reading that you were thinking ‘Hey, that’s me! I love schadenfreude!’, then have a look at this skateboarding stacks video you sick puppy:

Cringe

Ok here we go….cringe is probably the most complicated of them all. This emotion that we all have experienced, probably on a daily basis, is where you feel discomfort at another’s awkwardness or social unacceptability (empathetically/vicariously). But then it gets more complicated, because awkwardness is another can of worms. Awkwardness is a state of uncomfortable self-consciousness that is usually/always in anticipation of being socially unacceptable. But then, not all cringeworthy people are self-conscious, some are just so un-self-consciously unacceptable that it is cringe. So there’s that….I was wondering what cringe was as well before I typed that….

Let’s take a look:

Let’s all relax a bit, huh? from cringepics

Oh no….

This joke….put a bit of a dampener on the guy’s wedding announcement.

And like, even if it was an appropriate occasion….it was just a weird joke, way too extreme.

Then there’s this:

It’s actually "You are" from cringepics

Ok…. where do we even start with this guy….

This is probably a crosspost from r/iamverysmart—the subreddit ‘Where everyone is a quantum scientist’. This guy is expressing an idiotic point in a way that implies that he is very intellectually superior. It’s the epitome of un-self-conscious baffoonery.

But then there are the really self-conscious cringes that you just really do feel sorry for:

RAISE THE ROOF! (awkwardly) from GirlsDancingAwkwardly

That poor girl! The big screen could do that to anyone on a bad day.

How did humans get so complicated? How did we ever start cringing? I don’t know, but we are a species that has developed complex societies with numerous social rules. And it is clear that one of the, if not the main way that these rules have been enforced throughout history is by cringing. I.e. by the fear of cringing or making others cringe if that makes sense. So this emotion is actually a very crucial one, and no wonder it has developed to such a complicated degree.

dLook’s Guide To Frugal Living In Australia

It isn’t easy to achieve good low cost living in Australia, but it is possible. Sydney and Melbourne have been ranked as the 14th and 15th most expensive cities in the world and the rest of Australia isn’t far behind. With our high labour costs, peaking house market and sea borders, it is no wonder that everything is quite expensive here.

But, with dedication and the right info, it is still quite possible to live frugally in Australia. Living frugally is a philosophy of life more than anything and to accomplish it, you have to really believe in the benefits.

Living Frugally: The Philosophy That Can Change Your Life

Living frugally is a very very big commitment that influences your work, your residency, your relationships, your transport, the food you eat and the clothes you wear. If you are going to actually succeed in saving money on all these things, you have to have the mindset that this is really what is going to benefit you.

Basically, as a person who lives frugally, my mindset is this:

Time = Money

You’ve heard that one before. But the way it relates to frugality is that every dollar you spend is a unit of your time that you are spending. Say you earn a very generous wage of $40 per hour working. If you buy a shirt that costs $40, that’s one hour of your time that you have spent earning the shirt. When you buy the shirt, you should visualise yourself sitting down and working for one hour before, at the end of that, going and buying the shirt. And, think about what you could have been doing in that hour of your life besides working, and whether that is worth more than the shirt. Because buying goods with money you earned is satisfying, but you have to remember that you are just trading time for money. That is the equation. And whereas goods are nice, they often when you think philosophically about it don’t measure up to the value of your life.

But a shirt’s not that bad; it has some functional value even though this one may be a bit pricey. How about a car? For a nice new 2016 BMW X5 xDrive30d you would be out of pocket $105,990. This is what I straight-out don’t understand. If you buy a nice car, don’t you image the amount of years spent working—whole years of your life—just to afford it? I’m not car crazy, you can tell, but if you are then I express my sympathies because the type of desire that can make people spend that much would be strong and hard to give up.

The Benefits of Living Frugally

So now you know what you have to lose from this way of living: a lot of the goods and services and comforts that you enjoy. But what do you have to gain?

There are several large goals that people have from living cheaply and these are:

  • Early retirement
  • Working less hours per day
  • Paying off debts
  • Travel

If you want any of these (most people want all of these), then you should definitely read on in this guide.

Low Cost Housing

If you work and have set up your life in one of Australia’s major cities, then we aren’t going to tell you to move. But, there is always the option, especially for young people to choose a location that is far cheaper.

All of Australia’s capital cities have satellite cities that are experiencing strong property price growth but have still a long way to go before catching up. Many investors think that cities like Newcastle have a property boom that is lagging behind that of the major cities, meaning that: a) it is cheaper, b) if you buy, you will still benefit from price growth.

Some of the best satellite cities that we have screened are:

  • Newcastle
  • Wollongong
  • Geelong

Cheap Transport

Public transport is far cheaper than travelling by car. Consider this:

A weekly commute on Sydney public transort (suburbs to CBD) will cost around $43.

A weekly car commute will cost you $155. And this doesn’t even include legal costs in the event of an accident or fine.

Save Money On Food

Eating out is expensive in Australia, there’s no two ways about it. But it’s no groundbreaking news that you can save money by bringing sandwiches to work and skipping the takeaway. Here are some ways to save money on food that not everyone thinks of:

  • Buy from ethnic supermarkets. The variety of Chinese, Indian and Filipino supermarkets in Australia have very cheap prices
  • Buy in bulk. The best example of this is rice, which can be very cheaply bought by the sack
  • Eat less meat. This is not only healthier, but also a lot cheaper if you substitute vegetables and staples

Holidays

Holidays within Australia are generally more expensive than some overseas countries these days. You can holiday for ~$2000 within countries that have currencies multiple times weaker such as Thailand, Indonesia, China and India (and still spend like a king).

Resources

If you would like to learn more about frugal living, in an Australian or global context, then you should check out these subreddits:

r/frugal
r/personalfinance
r/financialindependence
r/fiaustralia